The observations
Funny observations
about modern life
nobody agreed to.
QR code menus. Tip screens. Apps for kettles. Robots asking you to prove you're not a robot. Here's a growing collection of the everyday madness we've all quietly accepted, taken from the comedy book by Tony Gutierrez.
Everyday admin
When did living require an account?
When did parking your car require an account?
When did buying a coffee involve downloading something?
When did we agree that "accept all cookies" counted as a decision?
When did a password need a symbol, a number, a capital letter and a blood sample?
Nobody sat us down and explained this. One day you paid for parking with a coin, and the next you were creating a profile, verifying an email and agreeing to terms so you could stand still for an hour.
Customer service
When did getting help become a test?
When did calling customer service involve proving to a robot that you're not a robot?
When did "your call is important to us" become the longest sentence in the language?
When did the chatbot start apologising instead of helping?
When did we start pressing zero like it was a secret code?
Somewhere along the way, companies worked out that if the process is annoying enough, most of us give up. That isn't customer service. That's an obstacle course with hold music.
Eating out
When did dinner need a data plan?
When did restaurants replace menus with a QR code and a prayer?
When did we start being asked to tip a screen?
When did a table booking need a deposit and a confirmation code?
When did photographing food become part of eating it?
You go out to relax and end up squinting at a phone with 4 percent battery, scrolling a PDF sideways, while a machine quietly judges how generous you are.
Technology at home
When did objects start needing updates?
When did every fridge need Wi-Fi and every kettle need an app?
When did watching television require four subscriptions and a search party?
When did the remote control need charging?
When did your doorbell start sending you notifications about your own front door?
The promise was convenience. The reality is that your washing machine has firmware, your lightbulbs have logins, and something in your kitchen wants a software update at 7am.
Working life
When did work become a calendar with no gaps?
When did we start having meetings about meetings?
When did "quick catch up" mean 45 minutes?
When did being busy become the whole personality?
When did an email need a follow up message asking if you saw the email?
Everybody is in a meeting, nobody is available, and the actual work happens in the ten minutes nobody managed to book.
A whole book of this
One of the funniest books
about being alive right now.
If you're looking for funny books for adults that actually sound like your life, this is it. A whole book of exactly this. Asked out loud, for once.
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